Anger

Anger is another emotion that has become widely abused in not only secular society but also in Christian culture. What it is, where it comes from and when, if ever, it is appropriate seems to have become greatly misunderstood.

In my observation I've seen 3 major types of anger abuse (I'm no counselor so these are just my personal observations). The short fuse, the closet rager and the passive aggressive. The short fuse is that guy that just snaps at anything and lets everyone know how mad he is. The closet rager is the gentleman that you couldn't find a single fault in unless you were one of the unlucky few that was closest to him. They usually take they're anger out on immediate family members and live a "perfect" life to the world. The passive aggressive don't seem like they have ever experienced anger in their entire life. They go through life wearing such rose colored glasses it can sometimes be annoying. They tend to mask their anger with passive aggressiveness to keep that fine and dandy character.

So what is anger? It is an emotional reaction to, what we believe to be, an injustice. When someone tells you not to be so angry, they should be telling you to stop acting out in anger. A couple of weeks ago I got in a car accident. The other driver ran the red light and hit us and somehow I received the ticket. Was I angry? You bet I was! There was a clear injustice against me. Did that injustice make me angry? Absolutely not!

I understand if that makes no sense right now. Let me explain. When I become angry, it is my reaction to a situation. I essentially choose to feel anger. No one/thing can take responsibility for what I feel. That's kind of relieving if you think about it. If I do something, without sinning, and someone gets angry about it, I don't have take responsibility for it. That's not to say that you should be insensitive towards others and not try to reconcile. Unfortunately the world doesn't quite have a grasp on that reality yet.

In this example, I will be honest to my readers and tell you that I did in fact sin, but it wasn't purely my anger that was a sin. In Ephesians, Paul tells us not to sin in our anger. When I received the ticket and felt anger for the injustice, I hadn't sinned quite yet. When I got into the back seat of my mother's soccer mom van and started yapping about how stupid that blanking blankety blank driver was, I was sinning. Actually even before I began speaking I was sinning just by thinking those things.

It seems so easy to let anger drive our actions many times. That being said, we need to learn how to take control of that emotion that God has blessed us with and use in a way that it can glorify Him. I love the story of Jesus in Matthew 21 where he walks into the temple to find it turned into a market place and starts flipping tables telling the people that His house is a house of prayer but they turned it into a den of thieves. I'm not saying that you should start flipping tables every time you get upset. What I am saying is that you can use your anger to identify an injustice, rebuke it and correct it. Without feeling anger, I know sometimes I wouldn't even have the drive to correct a wrong doing. Rebuking people is pretty much never easy.

You'll also notice that once Jesus rebukes these people, he goes back to healing people. This is the perfect example of justified anger. Jesus doesn't hold a grudge against these people or let it ruin his day, he goes right back to doing his thing. You know what, I wouldn't be surprised if Jesus' blood paid for the sins of some of those buyers and sellers.

So next time something happens that makes you angry, don't harbor that anger and let it turn to bitterness or let everyone know how angry you are by having an outrage or try hiding your anger and letting it come out in passive aggressive defiance; face it head on, let it surface in a way that glorifies God and then let it go. I know that God glorifying anger seems like an oxymoron and it may be difficult to get over the idea that anger is across the board a sin, but with prayer and dedication, I can see some really cool things coming from some angry Christians.

Your diet and the Gospel

I have a passionate distaste for vegetarianism. No, I do not hate vegetarians (love the sinner, hate the sin). And it's not because I've worked in foodservice since I was 15 and dread having to make special meals for people with "alternative lifestyles." The reason I have such strong feelings for this issue is because of the Gospel.

I bet you're a little confused right now. What does (not) eating meat have to do with the Gospel?! I'll tell you.

Remember that whole story about Adam and Eve? Eve eats the forbidden fruit, Adam chooses to join her, they unsuccessfully try and hide from God, God kicks them out, they're cursed with pain in childbirth and hardship in labor and then God makes clothes of [animal] skin for them. It is safe to say that this animal was killed not only for the well being of Adam and Eve but as a sacrifice for their sin.

So from day one Adam and Eve have embedded in their subconscious that because of their sin, a life must be taken in order for theirs to continue. They have a clear understanding of the Gospel just by watching what God had just done for them. And what they witnessed was prophesy of what was to come, Christ's life being taken in order to save us from eternal death. Now that we are free from having to sacrifice animals, we still have the constant reminder, reality check and reflection of the Gospel in our diet.

I do understand that it is possible to live a bland healthy life without eating animal products, but if you have the opportunity to reflect the Gospel in something you do 3 times a day, why would you choose not to? I admire those who hunt because they get even closer to understanding this parallel. I think that every person should one day kill an animal and eat it for dinner for this very reason.

When I ask people why they are vegetarian, the most common responses are, "animal cruelty," or "I don't like meat." My response to the first quote would be Genesis 1:26, "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

To the second I would ask what things we do regularly for our own good that we don't like doing. I personally hate brushing my teeth, but I do it daily because its good for me. If we do stuff all the time that isn't enjoyable but is good for us then why can't we do something we don't enjoy that is good for the Kingdom.

What if you're not a Christian? Who cares about animal cruelty if you believe in Darwin's survival of the fittest. If you're going to believe in evolution at least live it. And if you don't like the way meat tastes, man up and take one for your species and chow down on some lesser species so that maybe one day we can grow wings and fly, saving our country billions of dollars in air travel and eliminating our dependence on oil (excuse my blatant sarcasm).

Tomorrow morning, throw some unborn chickens and some pig belly on the griddle and rejoice knowing that you don't have to go and kill an animal for your sins since Jesus already died for all of them.

Pastor appreciation month

I want to tell you about my pastor.
My pastor is my friend.
My pastor is a mentor.
My pastor doesn't preach what you want to hear but what you need to hear.
My pastor isn't on a giant projector screen.
My pastor doesn't have stadium seating.
My pastor isn't a comedian (that's not to say he doesn't have a great sense of humor).
My pastor doesn't sway with trends.
My pastor is educated.
My pastor is honest and open.
My pastor isn't a motivational speaker.
My pastor doesn't care about money.
My pastor dedicates 110% to the Kingdom.
My pastor doesn't play politics.
My pastor cares equally for every single person who walks through the door.
My pastor has a radiating passion in all the work he does.
My pastor does not play favorites.
My pastor has dedicated his life to bless others.
My pastor has changed my life.
My pastor is Dr. Norm Wise.

Telling yourself the truth

We are all big fat freaking liars! Whoa, what a way to start out a post, right?! Just bear with me for a minute.

We all tell ourselves our life story as it happens. As you go through life we tell ourselves what we are perceiving. It sounds kind of ridiculous only because it happens so naturally that we don't notice it. Think about it. When something noteworthy happens in your life and you go and tell a friend, you're telling your friend a story of a part of your life. And before telling this story you had to process your experience.

Tell me if you've ever had this experience: you tell a story to a friend and your friend interprets what happened differently than you did and all of the sudden you see the situation in a whole new light. You generally experience an emotional reaction which then affects how you deal with the given situation.

What I'm trying to get at is that we all have the ability to affect ourselves the way the friend affected you in my previous example. It all lies in the story we tell ourselves. We can wake up every morning thinking, "Wow life sucks," and you'll never want to get out of bed or we can think, "Wow, isn't it amazing that God has blessed me with another day on this earth," and I'm sure the results will be different.

The trouble with this is that we've been raised in an ungrateful and cynical society that scoffs at positive thinking. We also feel a little crazy when we actively tell ourselves something that we know we don't quite believe. There's also nothing the people of the US love more than instant gratification. Unfortunately, telling yourself the truth falls into all these things that we don't like. We need to first catch ourselves when we have the urge to be negative and then we need to take that thought and replace it with something realistic and positive.

Now the worst part about this is it takes a lot of time and effort to really have it affect your life. It's a proven fact that the subconscious needs repetition to believe something. There's certain aspects of my life that I'm still trying to get control of, but I know my life would be miserable had I not chosen to take control of what I tell myself.

YAY!

There's finally a Blogger iPhone app. I think I'll be able to update much more frequently now!

My Love/Hate Relationship with Emotions

Being a musician, emotions and feelings are a big part of my life.  Music would be rather bland and pointless if we didn't possess emotions.  I can't tell you how pumped I get in a pile up on a catchy sing-along at a local show.  How great does it feel when you hear a song that can relate to you?  Emotions are such an awesome gift that God has sprinkled into our lives.  Without them we would just be robots.  They allow us to enjoy life and can sometime help us make difficult decisions.  Have you ever found yourself about to make a poor decision and changed your mind because you felt guilty?  I know I have.

Just like all the other blessings God has graciously given us, emotions can be used in ways unintended.  Emotions are great to consider when making difficult decisions, but it seems as if in modern times they have become the sole factor in our decision making process.  Do you think such a vast amount of Americans would suffer from such terrible credit card debt if decisions were based on wise reason rather than rampant emotions?

In order to understand the point I'm making, you need to properly understand emotions (an understanding that most of America lacks).  Emotions are not feelings that just exist with no control or reason, rather emotions are a byproduct of our subconscious.  People tend to think that the emotions that they feel are directly related to their respective circumstances.  This is false.  As we go through life, everything we experience is first filtered through our subconscious and then we are filled with the emotion that our subconscious is trained to respond with.

I'll give you an example.  My father is a musician and my mother is a colored pencil artist (check out her AMAZING work at anitaorsini.blogspot.com!) who grew up in an era filled with self discovery and rebellion of the social norm.  So as I grew up I was always taught to be myself and not care what people thought.  I was enrolled in a private Christian school from Pre-K through 12th grade.  This school had more rules than you could possibly image.  No long hair, no piercing, no facial hair, no tattoos, no flip flops, tuck your shirt in... you get the idea.  So this atmosphere was obviously completely contrary to that which I was raised in.  Therefore, I felt anger towards my school and rebelled by finding any loophole I could in the rules.  Now whenever I am in any atmosphere of legalism, I feel anger.  I feel as if I'm being controlled, changed and dehumanized.  Is this always the case?  Most of the time, no.

Some of my anger may be righteous but when turned to rebellion and discord it is obviously not.  This has been an ongoing struggle in my life.  So who do I blame for my negative feelings and poor reactions?  Myself.  I can't take responsibility for others actions, only mine.  And just because I feel something doesn't make it reality.  Since my feelings are not necessarily reality than it would be foolish to make it reality without serious consideration.

In order to wisely utilize our feelings and emotions we need to learn how to control them by means of controlling our subconscious.  If we let our subconscious run wild then we let our emotions run wild leaving our entire life in chaos and discord.

Marriage: Part 2

If you haven't yet, go ahead and read Marriage: Part 1.

Now how about husbands?  A lot of men enjoy focussing on the first part of Ephesians 5:22-33 and choose ignore the huge paragraph that talks to them.  Let's be honest, it's a lot easier to point the finger and ask someone else to fix themselves rather than take responsibility for yourself.

It starts off by telling husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  What does that mean?  Christ's entire life here on earth was dedicated to the church.  He loved those who didn't deserve love, He loved without condition, and He loved to the point of torture and death for those completely undeserving.  So as husbands, we are to mirror this type of love.  I find it difficult sometimes to love my wife when she's done something to upset me, but we are called to love unconditionally.  Unconditional love is really the only true form of love and is extremely difficult, requiring much discipline and self control.

What else was Christ to the church?  Christ was, and still is, our leader.  Wives are supposed to submit and follow us as leaders but how can they do so if we don't make ourselves leaders.  That doesn't mean to selfishly dictate and take advantage of our wives.  It means that we need to step up and utilized the tools and resources provided by our Lord to become leaders.  We need to reflect Christ in every way, especially in our marriage.

I heard on Grace FM one time, I wish I could remember who it was so that I could give proper credit, a depiction of the Biblical model of marriage.  We're met with somewhat of a paradox, man and wife are joined and become one flesh (equal) but yet the wife is to submit to the husband seemingly making this balance unequal.  In this model the wife kneels before her husband in love, respect and submission but at the same time the husband lifts up his wife in love, admiration and respect so that they can face one another eye to eye!  I found this to be so poetic and beautiful!  Please read the following from Ephesians with that model in mind, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

Doesn't that create such a beautiful and glorious image in your mind?!

This country's divorce rate is not the least bit surprising to me when reading through Ephesians 5.  But my question still remains unanswered, "Why get married if you're not a Christian?"  The only answers that seem to come to mind are to create a stable environment for which to raise children or to create a false sense of a commitment.  Studies do show that homes with both a mother and father produce better functioning children.  As far as commitment goes, marriage just makes for a messy legal breakup known as divorce, which isn't stopping half of America.

So I'm going to conclude this by saying, please don't get married for "tradition" or "because it feels right" or some washed up meaningless reason like that.  Put some freaking work into it and stop turning this beautiful, amazing gift that God has blessed us with into a joke.